Take Him Away!

This is serious, to my therapist and all.  I think my dad needs "help."  I dunno, but he's originally from Pennsylvania and once lived there all his life about.

He is so crazy @ me thinking THEY WANTED ME TO call Nell Burton a nigger just to make race seem like it doesn't matter what other people will think or say also.

Then he goes back thinking of the store cards I needed to use- and then before me not being in my major in college cuz I was shy there they said and .. trying to get back what I loss and finding hard non-honors! classes .. and I ended up failing and not withdrawing cuz I didn't know what that might say, though years later I got them withdrawn medically it is called I think I may have gotten.  I have 1 semester here.  My teacher got me withdrawn from a semester that seemed more successful, Bs and Cs.  Also, he sneered at when the topic jumped to my life being a glorified experiment, and now with me watching Ellen is the torture experiment to save her sorry ass for something I didn't do!

So, today, at the table, Nell came up and I was thinking all like swift and in a funny friendly way, "hey wanna fight."  He somehow tapped into my comfort, like maybe cuz he's lived where we live a little longer, and I don't do mean things like this cuz I'm too good .. like spaghetti was coming outta my head and then turned to horns.  It was a totally annoying supper for us.

So, yes, my dad is always being testy.  If I tell him nicely he gets mad and threatens to throw me to Lakeside|Aspire.  My head really feels disarranged, now.  I can't feel something I once felt.  You know, recently, I went to Disney Auditions and I just find them so stupid.  I look good for the part, and other don't.  They're all disarranged and totally fat.  I have to wear a belt to hold in my stomach, too, though, I found.  He does this through gestures, the way he hits his plate! while eating, what he says that always fits in at an akward, negative moment.  I think this think @ Nell is stupid.  I really think it's all totally stupid.  I wanna know what Ellen thinks.  Get it over with, I thought already we don't care @ my dad.  :|  He knows you're lying.  Nothing at all to be done @ that..